Careful With Your Anger!
April 6, 2025
Scripture: Matthew 5:21-26
Les Carter has authored several books on anger. One book that has influenced me is Good and Angry How to Handle Your Anger Positively. In the first chapter of the book, he gives a guaranteed formula, namely thirteen aspects, to consistently be a miserable, angry, walking volcano individual. Let me give you a summary.
1. Be picky and finicky. Take pride in being a perfectionist. Expect people and yourself to be perfect.
2. Do not listen to anyone else’s point of view. Be concerned only with getting your opinions across. Who cares what other people have to say.
3. Hold on firmly to your convictions, including your religious convictions. Condemn anyone who disagrees with you about anything.
4. Pride yourself on never being silly. Never laugh and have an enjoyable time! In light conversations, throw in some gloomy comments, the dark side of life.
5. Overload your schedule! Do not worry about getting enough sleep.
6. Expect other people to cater to your every whim.
7. Constantly demand your rights!
8. Make fun of love, kindness, joy, and gentleness.
9. Practice shouting!! If people are not agreeing, yell at them!
10. Worship money and possessions. Make them more important than human relations. Use people as a means to an end.
11. Do not consider your weaknesses. Do not read the Bible or listen to sermons as you might become convicted.
12. Have no compassion for people who are hurting or suffering. Since you are a self-made person, they should pick themselves up by their bootstraps.
13. Learn how to nag and criticize! Look for the worst in people and focus on it. Do not try to find ways you can help someone!
You might be thinking I know someone like that. The question is, “Do you do any of these?”
For many people in our society, anger, being miserable, is a real problem. It has been said that we are in the age of rage. Yet, most people really do not care if their anger is a problem. This was the attitude of the religious leaders.
Jesus said in verse 21, You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’
Jesus begins by pointing out that the religious leaders had misinterpreted the commandment, “You shall not murder. The religious leaders interpreted this in the physical sense rather than in the spirit of the law. If one had simply not murdered, he had obeyed the law and therefore was right with God. This made people feel holy and prideful, since they had “perfectly” kept God’s law. So, being angry was no big deal. As noted, two weeks ago, the religious leaders did not take God’s commandments to heart. God wants righteousness on the inside and not just the outside.
Then Jesus corrects this viewpoint in verse 22, But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Jesus’ view goes much deeper than the physical act. It starts with evil thoughts and words. So, Jesus said, anyone who says, Raca, which can be translated good for nothing, empty head, or airhead is wrong. It has a murderous attitude. Nor is one to call someone “You fool” meaning stupid or moron in a slanderous/condemning way. Jesus warns that such an expression is like murder and makes us guilty enough to go into a fiery hell.
Jesus took anger, slander, a critical spirit, condemnation towards others very seriously! Jesus’ view goes much deeper than the physical act. It originated in the heart. It starts with evil thoughts, regardless of whether those thoughts are brought to the physical act. Remember our words reflect our heart (Matthew 12:34)! Christ taught that the absence of committing physical murder did not by itself protect a person from God’s judgment.
Principle 1: Guard your heart from poisonous angry thoughts and attitudes! Learn to overcome your anger, your bitterness, your rage, your critical/slanderous words, your unforgiving attitude on the heart-level! Have a renewed mind in Christ!
The reason we need to guard our heart from anger is because anger will harm oneself. It will steal your joy. It can cause health issues. It might cause you to lose your family, your job, or respect from others.
As you well know, one’s anger can also harm others physically and/or emotionally.
Anger also hinders our relationship with the Lord. As Ephesians 4:30-32 states, And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Now the key to overcome anger, bitterness, rage, slander, a critical spirit, is not to be led by your feeling, but a renewed mind in Christ. So many people are led by their emotions, what they think is right, rather than following the example of Jesus and applying the principles of God’s word. As Romans 12:1, 2 states, Therefore, I urge you, brothers, and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
Let me give you 10 aspects of putting on a renewed mind in Christ in dealing with poisonous angry thoughts and attitudes.
1. Discern if it is righteous anger or unrighteous anger! An example of righteous anger is when Jesus flipped tables and used a whip in the temple when people were being cheated and God dishonored (John 2:13-24). He called the Pharisees serpents, hypocrites, and whitewashed tombs because of their false teaching and evil hearts (Matthew 23). Righteous anger is concerned with injustice done towards others and dishonor towards God. Unrighteous anger is concerned only with personal injustice—when people hurt or offend us. Unrighteous anger is consumed with defending self instead of God and others. Jesus sets the example as I Peter 2:23 states, When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. We must do the same.
2. Take to heart that you will be judged by God. Be careful with your anger out of fear of God’s ANGER! Get rid of the cheap grace perspective! Jesus says that God will judge ungodly language—even landing some in hell. They do not go to hell because of their words. Their words prove that they have never been saved. They give insight into what is truly in their hearts. Good fruit comes from a good heart and bad fruit from a bad heart (Matthew 12:33-35). So, we must recognize it as a grievous sin. Therefore, we must recognize these wrong attitudes as murderous sins before a Holy God. More on this in a little bit.
3. Assess why you are angry, bitter, and/or have a critical spirit. It might be because of your temperament type, your natural sinful tendencies. We need to heed what Paul writes in Romans 8:5, 6, Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. We need to recognize our temperament weaknesses and allow God’s Holy Spirit to strengthen them.
Being angry might not only be how you are wired up, but it might also be because of a deeper unmet emotion. Your love tank did not get filled! In Genesis 37, we learn that Joseph’s brother hated him and were ready to kill him but sold him to be a slave. Why? It was because their father loved Joseph more than any of them. The root of the problem was they felt rejected by their very own father. Personal unfilled expectations often prompt anger.
4. Trust in the Lord when things do not go your way! Take to heart Romans 8:28, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. God worked in Joseph’s life and the life of his brothers. Remember! God is good, all the time!!
5. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly (Colossians 3:16). I Peter 2:1-3 states, Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. Learning and applying God’s word is critical if we are going to properly respond.
6. Pray!! I think of Jesus in the garden before he is arrested. Jesus prayed for his Father’s will to be done, not his will. He was spiritually and emotionally prepared to face his accusers, the torture and taking on the sins of the world. He asked for his disciples to be in prayer. Of course, they fell asleep. Peter was not prepared. He was ready to fight as he …then he went on to deny Jesus three times.
7. Recognize people have issues. They have a tendency towards sin! Put on the attitude of Christ of helping instead of condemning.
8. Do not be proud, including spiritual pride! Consider others better than yourself! Philippians 2:3, 4 states, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
9. Think before you speak!
Proverbs 17:27, 28 states, The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. 28 Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent,
and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Proverbs 29:11 states, Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.
Many friendships, marriages, family relationships, churches, have been destroyed by unwise words. Therefore, we must learn how to guard our tongue. A person who has a renewed mind in Christ will apply Colossians 4:6, Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
10. Respond in love! Show acts of love! Speak the truth in love!
Romans 12:19-21 states, Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”21 Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. Also note Ephesians 4:15.
My hope and prayer are that you will grow in wisdom and understanding in dealing with people!
Jesus then says verses 23, 24, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Principle 2: Recognize that Discord Hinders Your Relationship with God!
To come to worship without practicing love in our relationships is simply an outward act with an evil heart. Paul said it this way in I Corinthians 13:1, If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. Worship without love for God and others is just noise to God—a clanging cymbal. There is nothing redeeming about our worship if we are allowing our relationships to stay in discord and unresolved tension.
Scripture teaches that one’s horizontal relationships always reflect his or her vertical relationship. In the Lord’s prayer, we pray forgive our debts/sins as we forgive our debtors (Matthew 6:15). I John 4:19-21 states, We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
If we are going to maintain peaceful relationships, we must realize that discord negatively affects our relationship with God. Holding on to unforgiveness means that he will not forgive our sins. It makes our prayers ineffective and our offerings as well. If you really want a right relationship with God and his blessing, you will seek to maintain peaceful relationships.
Then Jesus says verses 25, 26, “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
Jesus gives a legal illustration. If a person owed a debt but did not pay it, a plaintiff would take him to court. On the way to court, the accused could make amends with the plaintiff; but once the case had started it was out of their hands and in the hands of the judge. If the accused was found guilty, he was put into prison until the debt was paid. Typically, relatives would have to help pay bail or bills while the person was incarcerated.
Here is principle 3. Make every effort to promptly reconcile your relationship with others. Humble yourself by asking for forgiveness and/or offering forgiveness.
The longer we delay, the more opportunities we allow for Satan to attack. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
If we are going to maintain peaceful relationships, we must make every effort to reconcile. Now, Romans 12:18 says, If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people. We live in a fallen world and sometimes reconciliation is not possible. In those situations, pray for the offender, and move on with growing in Christ and serving Him.
Corrie Ten Boom tells the following experience. As most of you know, she inspired the movie, The Hiding Place. If you do not know, Corrie Ten Boom and her family were sent to a concentration camp for hiding Jews in their home during World War II. Her great faith sustained her through 10 months as she experienced the death of her father and her sister. Some years later, she spoke in Portland Oregon.
She stated, “I don’t want you to take any notes, or listen to anything I say unless you know who I am.” She then proceeded, “My name is Corrie Ten Boom, and I am a murderer. You see, when I was in prison camp, I saw the same guard day in and day out. He was the one who mocked and sneered at us when we were stripped and taken to the showers. We felt ashamed of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me. He spat on us in contempt, and I hated him! I hated him with every fiber of my being and my hatred grew day by day. Jesus says when you hate someone, you are guilty of murder. So, I wanted you to know right from the start that you are listening to a murderer.
When we were freed, I left Germany vowing never to return. But I was invited back there to speak. I did not want to go, but I felt the Lord nudging me. I reluctantly went. My first talk was on forgiveness. As I was speaking, I saw to my horror that same prison guard sitting in the audience. While I spoke, it was clear from the radiant look on his face that he had been converted.
After I had finished speaking, he came up to me and said with a beaming smile, “Ah, sister Corrie, isn’t it wonderful how God forgives? How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea.”
Then Corrie noted that he extended his hand to me to shake. Corrie noted, All I felt as I looked at him was hate. I said to the Lord silently, “There is nothing in me that could ever love this man. I hate him for what he did to me and to my family. So, if you expect me to love this man, it is going to have to come from you, because all I feel is hate.
He then mentioned Ravensbrück in your talk. I was a guard there. But since that time, I have become a Christian. Again, his hand came out, and said, “Will you forgive me?”
Corrie then prayed for Jesus’ help. She felt the Lord tell here, “Put out your hand, Corrie. She noted that it was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. I put out my hand. It was because of this simple act of obedience that I felt God’s Spirit/His love being poured over me. Then came the unmistakable message, “Well done, Corrie. That is how my children behave. And the hate in my heart was absorbed and gone. And so, one murderer embraced another murderer, but in the love of Jesus.
After she told this story, Corrie said, “Yes, I am a murderer. But you are listening to one gloriously freed and a forgiven murderer. I love so much because I have been forgiven of so much.
How about you? Are you willing to make amends with others? As we approach the communion table, if you have a conflict with someone, then I encourage you to promptly take care of it.
If that person is here, go to that person, attempt to reconcile. Let us all prepare for communion as we sing Amazing Grace!
